Secret Desire pt 1

                                 Part 1                                  

      My name is, Cassie I'm 17 years old and I have a very unnatural desire that nobody knows, not even my best friend Liz. I have a desire to...oh wait, it will have to wait till after school cause I'm running late. 

      I'm at my locker getting my books when Liz smacks me in the head. "ow, what was that for?" "Matt told me you blew him off, explain!"  "Okay so I ran into Matt in the parking lot, he asked me if I was okay, I said yeah I just have to meet up with Liz." "Why would you blow him off he's hot, you should have blown him." "I don't know Liz I'm just not feeling us as much anymore, I think the summer just pulled us apart ya know?" "Still I would blow him." "Well let me figure out what I'm going to do with him before you do that." "okay you're the boss. " (lol) I've got to got to class I'll text you." "kay"

       As I'm walking to class I wonder what's wrong with me? I don't know why I want what I want, Matt is perfectly fine. He's smart, funny, good in bed, there's no logical reason, maybe I should let Liz have him, she would appreciate him. Man, I'd better get to class and out of my head.

      Sitting in class is so boring. Mr. Stuart must be a million years old cause he talks slow, like I would imagine a turtle to talk , if it could. (beep) Oh shit I hope he didn't hear that, I guess he didn't cause he's still going on about the equilibrium price. Is it weird that I like to picture  what he would look like as a young man half naked with abs glistening like Fabio, only less gay? hmm. Oh yeah that message... What do you know it's Liz. You'd think she has work of her own in chem but she has an A oddly enough. "Have you decided what you're going to do about Matt? Jenna's party is coming up and I want to hook up with him." See and this is why she knows not my secret desire...oops almost let it slip again. "You know what if you really want him that bad I'll let him go, we are going to different colleges anyways and you 2 are going together so I'm done, but let me do it, I want to at least do it in person." (Ring ring ring) "Okay  class I guess times up for today, don't forget to do chapter 9 review. We have a test next time around!"

       As I'm walking out of the classroom Matt grabs my arm and pulls me aside. "Will you just talk to me please? I know that something's wrong, I can't help you if you don't tell me!" "Look Matt we've been together for 3 years now and we've had alot of fun together but it's time we start getting serious about our future. " "I completely agree that's why I've asked uncle if I could work with him last summer, which is why you didn't see much of me. I made $400 but sadly it wasn't quite enough, so I asked him if I could work with him on weekends and again next summer. I was going to get you a ring, you are the girl I want to marry." "okay can you just stop for a second, wow a ring? Thanks but we are gonna  be going to different colleges and it really wouldn't work out." "That's why I was gonna marry you and transfer to be with you, I've already asked your dad and he gave me his blessing." "woah...um this is really too much to take in right now! No I couldn't ask you to throw away a full scholarship for me that wouldn't be right, those are your dreams. You've had those dreams since you were 5, besides babe I'm not really sure what I want anymore." "Wait what are you saying? What do you mean by that?" "I'm saying that Liz is going to the same college as you and she would make a way better girlfriend or wife for that matter than I would. I can't do this anymore, we had something special but it's just not there anymore and we should just leave it like that, the good memories of prom and homecoming, the late nights at the pizza house. Those were our things and our memories but I'm just looking for something different now, to grow as a person. I don't want to hurt you but we have to move on with our lives and realize it's just not meant to be. I'm sorry!" "Okay I'm sorry it had to end, I love you and I always will." "yeah me too." As I walk away toward my car, cause I can't stand to go through the rest of the school day, I think I'll go to the lookout, have a bowl and ponder today's events, strangely I feel tears streaming down my face. Could I actually be sad over the breakup? Was I just breaking up with him for Liz, or.........my secret?